Well I haven't posted anything for a while cause I got to thinking I'm just too depressed to keep expressing my self. But today I got on to read some blogs and found one of my B. friends is in a journey of her life with cancer..So here I am back and for those that don't want to hear my journey, that's OK, it's just OK.
My heart goes out for my B. friend and I pray for the best of a report tomorrow.
I have been very busy and not doing much. My friend Shell has got me into making my cards so I have found it does relax me alot..Am I good? I doubt it but the cards are made with a lot of love so hopefully those receiving one will feel it.
I have decided to go back to work if...anyone will hire me..I was turned downed by the local Library and now have applied for a job with the school..It was hard for me to make the decision to even apply and now I'm afraid it may be a big let down. I was truly scared to start something in my life as I do not want to have to give things up as I did before..But I need a purpose in my life, I need the feeling of need back in my life, so here I go I have started.
This was my third month so in 3 months I will be at my 2 year mark..The prize from the oncologist is...I get to go to 4 month check ups..I found this real disappointing as I thought it would be 6 months but also found it even more scarier that they find it necessary to still watch me this close...I find the doc very rude and not considerate at all and truly not encouraging. The appt was disappointing as your like a number they run in and back out. I was actually asking a question as she was running out the door..But any way another 3 down..with all good reports..
My daughter Missy and her family seem to be getting even more distant..The hurt from this sometimes is so over whelming. I just find family and friends all just to busy just too much going on in their life. I guess maybe with me nothing to do I see it all more clearly.
Today is filled with rain and is so gloomy making the day longer and harder to get thru. I have got where the TV doesn't even come on but find myself following the same schedule every day. I have been walking alot and it seems to clear my head some from the worry. Thank God for my little dog LuLu, she is always beside me..
4 days ago