The weekend was a quiet one with the Birthday Celbration on Sunday. I always look forward to our Family Sundays and our meal together. It does seem to tire me out but I want to continue as we are all together. The importance of families being together is at the top for me, even if its only once a week.
My life since being diagnosed with the cancer has changed so much. My memory is not there the way it use to be and I certainly am restrained from the activities I was use to. While keeping my wonderful and youngest granddaughter, Klair, yesterday I realized just how much I miss being with children and being able to pick them up and hold them. We played and watched Barney the whole day singing and dancing. She was so much fun and something I really longed to do. Even tho I played with her I wanted so much to hold her to bond with her as a Grandma should. My job of owning a daycare of 30 children a day prior to my illness has made the longing even harder.
My life has become very lonely. It seems the children have become more distant not having much to do with me and I sit daily trying to find something to keep me busy. There are days no one even checks on me and I am thankful the older Grandchildren come in after school. Friends are scarce as tho they are aftaid of catching something. Everyone just seems so busy with their own life.
The cancer leaves you stripped of so much, energy is gone, desire is so less, and hope is dug from within so deep. I have came a long way from even months ago but find it hard to get up each morning and to find something that makes me realize, I am better. I am thankful for my life and overcoming the cancer at this time. I pray all the time for it not to return.
I love blogging and writing so I really hope this helps and others won't find me depressing. I live with hope, so much love for life, and for my family. I now read others blogs and find it so interesting to read about their life. I am very thankful for finding this and hopeful I can learn how to do it all.. And I love the pictures.
always,, Judy
WOYWW
1 day ago
I'm glad you're enjoying blogging and doing the photos. Looks like you already have the hang of blogging.
ReplyDeleteI understand your feelings of loneliness. My last husaband had lung cancer, and it's true that people pull away. That was one of the loneliest and bleakest times of my life. I think alot of people don't know what to say and are uncomfortable talking about serious illnesses. Are there any support groups in your area? Being in a support group with other cancer survivors might help ease your loneliness. I'm sending good thoughts your way....
Great writing. Sorry that I haven't called or come by like I should. I'm trying to modify my lifestyle that includes being with my friends more. Love you...Shell
ReplyDeleteI think it's wonderful that you are enjoying blogging so much, Judy....it may well help your stretches of loneliness too. Blogging and visiting other blogs sure keeps me busy.
ReplyDeleteI too think that people may pull away because they are at a loss on how to talk about it or how to behave. They also may be afraid to impose on you at a time where they think you may need your strength or they may think you want to be left alone. I always fear imposing on people but, if they gave me a sign that it was okay for me to visit, I'd be there.
I see a lot of my kids because, heck, my four sons are still living at home. However, my brothers and I rarely see each other anymore because we all seem so busy in our own lives. We do still communicate via email, text or phone on occasion but, sometimes, I miss the days where we saw each other at regular family get-togethers.