A Tragic Turn in my Life

I think it would be only right to write about the most tragic thing in my life. To explain it hurts but writing about it, leaving the story for others to read may help everyone to realize how hard it was on me.

It was the last week of school, a year of trying to adjust to the small town and small school, making new friends, boyfriends, and really I began to fall in love with it all. I often wondered why and could not understand just how Dad and Mom could move us out of a really nice house into an old house barely big enough to hold us all. To add to the size of the family a aunt had also moved in with her 2 children. I loved her being there because Mom had someone with her since Dad only came home on weekends, sometimes.

Jane and I were bored that day so we decided to cross the highway walking down the iver bank to an old tree that had been washed up. We sat and talk and threw rocks into the water, she bragged about the new boyfriend she had and how much she liked him. My plans for the evening was to go the movies some miles away with my boyfriend and friends. She said she had no plans. So we walked back to the house and I began to get ready for the date. We were very close with less than a year between us, I had always looked over her as she was special. Special in a way that she was different, very quiet, shy, and definately not out going and rebelious as I was but her way made everyone love her so. To me she had this glow of sadness and often talked about what it would be like to have her identical twin Joan there that we had lost as an infant. Mom often talked the story of how Jane also almost died at the death of her twin, how they had to rush her to the hospital also. I remember when we started school, she would just sit and cry for mom, they would call me to her room and I would have to sit with her until she stopped. She was always nustled under moms apron, mom being very protective and so very close to her as she was to mom.

That night we watched a movie about Godzilla,,yea Godzilla, there was lots of fire and things burning in the movie and not a good movie at all but of course we stayed and even had laughs out of it. On our way home we got a flat tire having to stop and change it. I felt very sad and didn't know why, I even cried. We got the tire changed then hurried home as I had missed my curfew.

Upon arrival at the house, the dogs barked at me, I guess it was probably around 12:30. Aunt Bill asked if it was me and I told her yea. She informed me that mom, dad, and Mitch, the youngest of us had stayed down the hill in a small cabin type building my dad had built. We talked and discussed how hot the house felt and I told her I would turn the window fan on for a while to cool the house down. I went into the room where Jane and I was sleeping, she lay really still, had a hot pink top on, she never awoke. I got into the bed with her, she never spoke. About 3:30 I was awaken by the sounds of crackling and flickering lights..I lay looking out the bedroom door and thought I was dreaming as from the movie earlier. I closed my eyes and then heard sounds of kids screaming, my aunt screaming to get out..The house was on fire.

I shook Jane told her to get up. The room had two windows, one opened to the porch but was closed, the other was open but would be a jump to get out. I chose the window with the jump because it was open. I pushed the screen out and jumped hitting the ground on my knee. Above me and behind me, I heard the window shut with a bang. The house was old and the windows were held open by a stick. By this time the youngest of us girls, Paula was running to me along with 2 cousins that were burnt and hurt, Sissi Im hurt is all I could hear.My aunt had busted out the window and threw the kids out with them getting cut from the glass. From down below the hill my mom and dad were running up to the house..I screamed to Dad, Jane is in there, she didn't jump out. Mom tried to go in the house and I held her down to stop her. I then found Dad on the front porch of the house with him telling me, I can't find her, I can't find her. He was burnt and bleeding from all the glass. The next door neighbor came running across and tried, I remember telling him Jane didn't get out, get some flash lights and wet blankets..It was just too late, the fire was so intense. I remember taking them all puttin them in the car, driving off the hill and infront of the house, looking up it wasn't nothing but fire. She was gone.

We drove a few miles coming to my aunts house and then onto the hospital. My leg was ok after being checked out, my aunt was burnt all over, the children had cuts from the glass, scorched hair, and blisters a half inch high on the tops of their ears.
Moma just completely lost it, she would sit and hear her talking and say listen she is talking, can't you hear her..A woman that had so much death in her life and stayed strong was now unable to.

That night I could not sleep, took the children and went to my boyfriends home. I can remember cutting scorched hair, doctoring the cuts and blisters. They too was scared and I slept with all 3 of them.

The days to come was hard. I picked her casket and flowers. Her funeral was in the highschool gym, I still see her rose colored casket sitting in the middle of that floor. She is buried in Dogwood Cemetery with the other sisters.

We all recovered from the burns, bruises, but never from the loss. I found myself pregnant with my oldest daughter,Samantha. I thought I was beeing punished for this but at her birth I realized she was special because she was sent to help us thru loosing Jane. The day she was born is the day I got my mom back and started trying to live my life.

Sad story I know but I have to leave this for others to know. To understand that it doesn't matter how old you are, this can happen. At the age of 15 and 16, I often ask why did I get out and she didn't. I can still hear Mom asking me why did you go to the window? There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her and pray she was here, I know she would have been here to help me,,I really miss her.